Welcome To Stuyshwick! Brooklyn's Hot New Micro-Neighborhood That Everyone Agrees Is A Good Idea

Mr. Kiwi raised the price of avocados to $1.50 just a few weeks before Stuyshwick was invented. Coincidence?

Watch out, Jefftown. Brooklyn's hottest new mirage is apparently a dozen block strip on the border of Bed-Stuy and Bushwick, henceforth known as Stuyshwick. Slosh that one around your mouth for a moment, choke down its hard edges and expendable fricative sh. Why not just Stuywick? We don't make the rules. We just frantically grease the portmanteau-generating machine until it spits out a sound that pleases the great luxury condo developer in the sky. Then it becomes a content unit, then you think you're having a stroke and when you eventually come to there is a brand new neighborhood where you thought you left the old one. At least it's not Parkwanus.

Until this morning, many people believed that Bushwick and Bed-Stuy were two distinct neighborhoods, clearly delineated by boundaries and historically occupied by working class black and Latino residents. But then the intrepid tastemakers at New York Magazine discovered this "buzzy micro-neighborhood" which they unironically dubbed Stuyshwick after hearing "mumblings..on local blogs" (don't look at us!). On this historic Thursday morning, Stuyshwick received its first ever Grub Street food guide, cementing its status as a place that exists, and not just a reheated idea that a hungover PR professional fired off to 300 inboxes while violently puking into a trash can on Bedford Avenue.

Still, despite its glossy mag treatment, Stuyschwick remains a neighborhood in flux. The 4,500-square-foot co-working space/meditation center/woodworking shop has not even opened its doors yet. The decrepit Papa John's has not yet been ceremonially razed and tossed into Newtown Creek. The newly-paved streets are home to many bodegas, ripe for disruption. There is only one decent place to buy a Scotch neat from a man who clearly hates his neighbors, and it only soft launched last month!

Explained St. Elias owner Joe Najem to Grub Schtweet: "Every time I came over here, I had trouble finding what I was looking for—it’s just the same ten generic brands of beer and shots. We’ve got a lot of high-end beer, bourbon, single malt. I don’t know if the neighborhood is going to like it or not, but I thought it was missing."

That bar is on Broadway and Arion Place, just west of the boundary at Myrtle Avenue, which, if we're doing this, should technically be Stuyschwick Heights.