Sledgehammer Wine: For Men Comfortable In Their Masculinity

Yesterday Jezebel alerted us to a wine for girls called Be., but it's only white wine and everyone knows white wine is what you drink on your period. MEN drink red wine, and therefore, men drink Sledgehammer. "If you want a wine to swirl and sip while you analyze it, best move on and pick one with a foreign name and a picture of a chateau on the label." Woah woah, "Sledgehammer?" Wasn't that an artsy song by a prog rocker? Sounds a little complex to us, college boy. We'll stick to our usual: Quern.

If the startlingly accurate Black Keys cover band doesn't make you want to drink this wine while doing manly stuff, like playing eye contact-avoiding poker in the stall of a urinal, let Adam Corolla affirm his existence and explain why you're an utter coward if you refuse to fist-bump these burly tannins.

Sure, he probably could have just made the drill spin in the opposite direction, but brute force is a necessary part of making anything taste good. For instance, our favorite grilled chicken recipe calls for beating the shit out of a package of chicken thighs, then buying it a few rounds before we convince a few chicks to sing "Tubthumping" with us in a karaoke bar.

Sledgehammer also has two ground rules: "No Sipping. No Swirling." So you're either bonging that wine in a Russian bathhouse or ripping a hole between your ribs and just pouring the bottle straight into your chest cavity.

We haven't tasted either of the two varietals, Cabernet or Zinfandel, but tasting something before making a bold, confident opinion on it is for people who drink Be.