Inside Lady Gaga's Papa's Italiana Trattoria Joanne

According to our research, Lady Gaga is a recording artist whose ubiquitous song "Poker Face" makes some people want to blow their brains out just to get it unstuck from their heads. Her fame and wealth have escalated to such a degree that even people genetically associated with her attract media attention. For example, Joanne Trattoria, a "neighborhood" restaurant on the Upper West Side, might have gone overlooked if the owners weren't Gaga's parents (and if the keywords "lady gaga" didn't get even more clicks than a story about "Snooki Kim Kardashian Rehab Kitten Daily Show Sex Tape"). So here's a look inside Joanne, you monsters.

Lady Gaga—if that even is her real name—has no formal involvement in the restaurant, and her parents, Joseph and Cynthia Germanotta, insist they could have opened the restaurant even without the DNA that hitches them to their daughter's star. But it doesn't hurt! As the Times reported earlier this week, Gaga fans are already making pilgrimages to Joanne, which is named after the Lady's late aunt. "That guy’s so lucky,” said Michele Munnery, 21, visiting with two friends from Cayuga, Ontario, as she watched the bartender work. "I’m nervous just standing out here." Why was Munnery nervous? BECAUSE GAGA'S MOTHER MIGHT WALK IN.

The chef at Joanne is Art Smith, who was Oprah Winfrey's personal chef for many years. He's serving a Southern Italian cuisine in the 70-seat restaurant, the former Vince & Eddie's, which is within walking distance of Lincoln Center and Central Park, and boasts a charming backyard patio. The press release (which makes no mention of Lady Gaga!) notes that Smith is doing family recipes such as Wood Fired Focaccia, Zucchini Fritters, Tomato Fennel Soup, Chopped Antipasti Salad, Papa Joe's Chicken, Grandma Ronnie's Meatballs and Six Layer Lasagna with the family's homemade pronto tomato sauce.

Entrees will cost about $25 to $30, with no additional charge for tissues when customers finish their meals without a single Gaga sighting and burst into tears. In fact, there's not even a photo of Gaga on the wall! Her father tells the Times, "If they’re expecting to come in here and see Grammys and pictures and stuff like that, it’s not going to happen."

Joanne Trattoria // 70 West 68th Street