Hangover Free Alcohol? Professor Nutt Says His Patented 'Alcosynth' Is The FUTURE

These kids seem into it

Here's some life-changing news that won't come soon enough to save anyone this weekend: a professor in England has developed a synthetic alcohol that gets you "drunk" but won't give you a hangover. Without suffering, how can we know we're truly alive?

The '80s electronica band new drink, "Alcosynth," was created by David Nutt, a former government drugs advisor turned futuristic booze pusher. The Independent reports that Nutt has patented about 90 alcosynth compounds but is currently testing two he hopes will eliminate traditional alcohol by 2050.

Alcosynth functions similarly to regular alcohol, mimicking the effects in the brain without damaging the body, particularly the liver and heart. There's also a "max out" feature, where the effects of the faux-cohol plateau after "about four or five 'drinks'" so imbibers can't get falling down "drunk."

"We haven't tested it to destruction yet, but it's safer than drinking too much alcohol," Nutt says. "With clever pharmacology, you can limit and put a ceiling on the effects, so you can't ever get as ill or kill yourself, unlike with drinking a lot of vodka."

As a fun aside, Nutt was fired from his government job after he "claimed taking ecstasy was less dangerous than riding a horse." So, there's that.

The British Department of Health hasn't thrown any funding Nutt's way just yet, but said they were interested in the "better workforce efficiency" that would result in a hangover-free population. Given the world's penchant for overindulging in alcohol, it seems like a no-brainer to reduce the deleterious effects of alcohol consumption while still allowing the public the blow off a little steam.

Until such a time as we aren't forced to wear sunglasses on the subway, there's always exercise and coffee...for now.