Finally, The Age Of Snortable Chocolate Has Arrived

What's up grandpa, scarfing down some chocolate with your mouth like some kinda goddamn Dark Ages serf laborer? Get with the future, old-timer, and break out a line of Coco Loko, the chocolate you can snort. Kickflips!

Sorry if you were turned off by the neon-tinged lede up there, but the future is here, provided the future you always foresaw was chocolate you can snort. Why would you snort chocolate like some kind of third grader snorting her Pixie Stix in an edgy simulation of snorting coke? Let's see what Coco Loko inventor Nick Anderson told the Washington Post:

Nick Anderson, the 29-year-old founder of Legal Lean, says he heard about a "chocolate-snorting trend" in Europe a few months ago. He ordered a sample and gave it a try. The effects of the cacao-based powder, he said, last about 30 minutes to an hour, and are "almost like an energy-drink feeling, like you're euphoric but also motivated to get things done."

Ah, snorting chocolate instead of eating it to enjoy the sweet taste, so Continental.

Over at the Legal Lean website, where you can pick up a tin of Coco Loko for $19.99 (on sale from its usual price of $24.99!), the sugar pushers behind the product promise both an endorphin and serotonin rush, as well as a supreme energy rush that comes with "calm focus."

One YouTube reviewer, who admittedly was in a rush to get somewhere, said that his Coco Loko test was "a cool experience" because you can smell and taste chocolate "in a way that's foreign to me."

The Post reported that the Food and Drug Administration has yet to weigh in on whether they would attempt to regulate the sale of Coco Loko—which is made with cacao powder, gingko biloba, taurine and guarana—or snortable chocolate in general.

Governor Cuomo previously banned powdered alcohol in 2015, calling the product a "public health disaster waiting to happen." The governor's office did not respond to a request for comment on Coco Loko as of press time.