Cool Off With This Tequila Ice Cream

Some well-intentioned yet totally cruel publicist sent over some images of this Tequila Ice Cream, which you can easily procure poolside at the Ventanas al Paraíso. A resort that looks like a water-soaked heaven. And is located in Mexico. Sure, it's about as hot there as it is here right now... but there you can swim in their pool, blast the air conditioner while lighting up your terracotta wood-burning fireplace, and vacation-binge on tequila ice cream. Back here, all you can do is try to recreate the latter in your tiny sweatbox of an apartment. So in honor of BOTH National Tequila Day (July 24th) and National Ice Cream Month (July), we present the resort's tequila ice cream recipe.

TEQUILA ICE CREAM courtesy of Las Ventanas al Paraíso, A Rosewood Resort.Ingredients (makes 4 quarts)8 cups whole milk2.75 cups whipping cream 2 cups sugar 1 cup corn syrup 1 cup powdered milk 5 fl oz tequilaMethod: Boil milk and cream, turn off the fire and mix with all the rest ingredients. Cool, and pour into the canister of an ice cream maker and freeze according the directions of the machine.

We have adapted this recipe for New Yorkers with the following instructions...

• Do a shot of tequila each time you add in a new ingredient, it will make it easier to think of your bathtub as a pool later (shhhhh don't worry about that now. Focus on completing the above recipe instructions.)
  
• Fill up tub with cold water and drop a pretty blue dye in it.
  
• Dress up stuffed animals: one as a vacation pal and one as a bartender, so you aren't so very alone. Place them next to your bathtub.
  
• Print out a photo of the beautiful turquoise waters you would be seeing if you were in Los Cabos. Black and white is fine, this experience is going to get bleak real fast. Hang it in front of your bathtub.
  
• Place tissues next to bathtub for crying. Which will come later.
  
• Check on ice cream.
  
• When ice cream is done, just stick a gummy worm or some sort of pastry in it.
  
• Get in tub and place ice cream out of sight but within reach.
  
• Order an ice cream from your stuffed animal bartender, and when he tells you "here it is beautiful lady" be surprised at how quickly he placed it right next to your bathtub.
• Partyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.