8 tips to help New Yorkers deal with stress in 2024

What did New Yorkers worry about this year?

Loneliness, climate change, job loss and housing were common worries, according to eight mental health professionals interviewed for this story.

And it's no wonder: This year many New Yorkers had to contend with rising rents, the sky turning bright orange in June, and layoffs across industries.

The good news is there are strategies to deal with an ever-changing city.

Here are some ideas from eight local mental health professionals to help New Yorkers find a little more serenity in 2024.

Start by accepting all your feelings.

Elizabeth Greene, a therapist who practices on the Upper East Side, said that this year, she has seen people working through challenges such as anxiety, job loss and housing insecurity.

“Many people, particularly in Gen Z, are facing an impossible situation in New York where the rents continue to rise,” she said, “And what would have been considered a solid income for recent college graduates is just not enough to cover rent while meeting basic expenses.”

Greene said one way to work through any kind of anxiety is to make room for every emotion you are feeling – regardless of whether they are positive emotions, like joy, or negative ones, like sadness.

Identifying these core feelings is actually a first step toward reducing anxiety, Greene said, because anxiety often results from a desire to avoid deeper emotions that may be harder to deal with.

“I think one way to move through that stuck-ness is to get in touch with what are the emotions underneath whatever anxieties may be coming up because something's fueling those anxieties,” she said.

Take a chance in social situations.

Therapist Delta Hunter runs a private practice in Brooklyn and mostly works with people trying to create or deepen meaningful relationships.

Hunter said she tells people they have to be confident and put themselves in social situations that may seem difficult.

“Encourage your friends to create social events, go out more, be a little bit more courageous about approaching people, both men and women,” she said. “We really live in a time where those gender roles are becoming a lot more fluid and less defined and less restrictive.”

Identify your stressors and write out a plan to attack them.

Irina Popa-Erwin is a life coach in Kips Bay. Professional and financial advancement were major themes of her work this year.

Erwin said in order to accomplish any kind of goal, people need to first identify their stressors and create a 90-day plan to eliminate them.

Erwin said it’s best to ask yourself what kind of steps you are willing to take to change a behavior. It also helps to look toward people you aspire to be and research what habits they have that you could practice for 90 days straight.

“Have fun through the process and don't give up,” she said. “This is what I always tell people. Don't give up on a bad day. Give up on a good day. And if you still want to give up on a good day, that's fine. But don't give up when you are low.”

She added, “Start implementing your habits daily. And do that for 90 days straight. And you will see the change. ”

Do one calming thing every day.

Annie Lin is the founder of New York Life Coaching, and has an office on the Upper West Side. Lin said most of her clients sought help with what she calls “evolutional stress and anxiety” – meaning that they're at a moment in their lives when they know it’s time to “level up,” but struggle to take action.

“You are sort of dragging your feet and you feel a lot of internal tension that you know it's time to move, but you are not moving,” said Lin.

The best way to jumpstart the process toward your goal, according to Lin, is to create a more "conscious mind" by doing something calming every day.

“It could be meditation, it could be journaling, it could be long walks in nature,” she said. “So in other words, don't stay on your mind or your brain all day long. Take some time to become aware that you are a whole person. Cultivate a mindful practice to experience more of a state of being.”

Ask yourself: “What would future me wish I’d done?”

Stephanie West runs a group practice focused on in-depth long-term therapy in Greenpoint, Brooklyn.

West said helping people find fulfillment and deeper connection with others was a major theme of her work this year.

She said that one strategy for reducing anxiety involves thinking about how a future version of yourself would’ve wanted to handle an interaction.

“What will future me wish I had eaten tonight? What will future me wish I had cut off the cocktails at? How will future me wish I had responded to my mother's kind of critical comment?” she said. “Putting it in that framework can be very helpful for people in all kinds of situations where they realize that they have more choices than they thought.”

Regularly examine how you talk to yourself.

Jennifer Glass Ryan, a West Village-based therapist, said most of her clients are women in their 20s and 30s seeking help with their romantic or platonic relationships while dealing with anxiety, self-esteem issues or trauma.

Ryan said she’ll ask her clients questions so they can understand why they do certain things. For example, if someone was avoiding their mother, Ryan would ask questions about the nature of the relationship.

“That is not my way of saying keep avoiding mom,” she said. “It's about saying there's an understandable reason why I'm finding this hard and not being mad at the part of you that doesn't want to do this thing.”

Ryan said people can better handle outside relationships by first cultivating a better understanding of how they talk to themselves. Are you talking down to yourself in a negative way? It’s important to be aware of the “why.”

“I think when we slow down and we examine that in a benevolent way, most of us find that there's some things we need to learn, and that maybe we could shift about how we see ourselves and how we move through the world,” she said.

Make an effort to be involved with your community.

Manhattan-based therapist Elizabeth Lacy works with young adults, older people, and couples dealing with sexually compulsive behavior, addictions, personality disorders and loneliness.

Lacy said many people she saw this year were battling extreme bouts of feeling like they lacked meaningful relationships.

“New York is a funny place because we're surrounded with people, but there is a profound sense of aloneness that can happen,” she said. “Which can drive people who have a tendency toward addictive behaviors anyway toward looking to these behaviors to alleviate some of that pain.”

Lacy said one big way to combat loneliness is to get or remain involved in a community of some kind.

“Volunteer for things, even if it's just a few hours a week, for something that matters to you,” she said. “It connects you with other people who care about the things you care about.”

Document your feelings.

Andrew Joseph is based in the city and said his clients are typically professional men in their late 20s, 30s or 40s.

“A lot of men come to me saying, 'I've worked so hard to establish my career and my life, but none of it means anything to me, and I don't really know why I've done it, and I don't know where I'm going,'” he said.

Joseph said if activities like walking or yoga aren’t your speed, it can be helpful to journal about your feelings, whether on paper or digitally. Joseph said journaling can help eliminate self-judgement.

“When we’re sitting there thinking about our thoughts it’s easy to question what we’re thinking. Whereas if I’m typing I have no time to question. It’s just free-flowing,” he said. “It’s really about processing our emotions and how our emotions have some important wisdom.”